The past two days have been a bit chaotic for me. As you guys know, I was planning a trip to San Francisco since Larry had a work trip scheduled there. We were going to use that as an excuse to travel the weekend together, and on the weekdays when he would have work, I was making plans with a lot of my YouTube/Twitch friends who I wanted to meet in person. I was getting really excited for it, but then all of a sudden, it was announced that there was a coronavirus outbreak in the Bay area, and Larry's work trip got cancelled.
Since then, I've been 50/50 with whether or not I should still go to SF alone. Of course I was sad that Larry wouldn't be able to travel the weekend with my anymore, but as a frequent solo-traveler, I also don't mind the idea of going by myself. So after hearing the news of Larry's work trip cancellation, I was still pretty adamant on going on the trip.
I made an Instagram poll updating everyone on the situation, and asked if I should go or not just to see what they would say. I wasn't going to listen to whichever side that won, but I was just curious as to what people thought. Larry was taking the poll super seriously though LOL he was messaging his friends to tell them to vote "no" LMFAO and kept asking me every few seconds to see if it changed.
"Yes, you should go, but just stay safe" was leading the entire time, but towards the end, "No, don't go. It's dangerous" was catching up. The final result was 51% yes, and 49% no - with over 100 votes on each side LOL.
So as you can imagine, there's been an inner battle in my head the entire time haha. I'll keep you guys posted. It's past 1AM right now and my brain is kind of fried, but here's an unrefined update below. I'll probably fix this blog post when I have time haha.
Read below for my most updated status (originally written for an IG caption.. but it was too long and got cut off. So I just saved it on a document and transferred it here):
Wednesday, March 4th, 2020: 8:45pm
I spent the day slowly packing for my trip to San Francisco LOL. I understand those who are worried & truly appreciate your concern Tbh I'm still 50/50 on going due to Larry's work trip being canceled, the whole virus outbreak, potential rainy weather, and I'm probably gonna get my period soon too LMFAOO tmi.. but although I see all these reasons as to why I shouldn't go, I also have the urge to just travel again. That temporary feeling of leaving everything behind and entering into a completely different world.
It's not just because I booked everything already that I don't want to cancel.
It's not just because I made plans with a lot of SF friends (from YouTube/Twitch) who I'd love to meet in person that I don't want to cancel.
It's not because I don't care about the virus or what happens to me, or how it might affect the people around me / how my family is worried. Of course I care! I don't want to stress out my loved ones.
Ahh but how do I explain it..?
I know that if I go on this trip, I'll be able to step away from my everyday life and experience something completely different. Instead of staying in my room for a week and doing the things I normally do, I'll be flying across the world with a completely different mindset and making memories that I know will create a lasting impact.
I think it's the feeling of taking control of your life... knowing that you have the power to design and execute the life you want to live. I feel this really strongly - especially when I solo travel.
I imagine calmly walking along the streets, listening to music, watching people pass by, and just enjoying the weather and vibes.
I imagine going at my own pace - popping in and out of stores - eating whatever I feel want, or doing whatever I feel like doing at the moment. There's no one telling me what to do or how to do it.
I imagine talking to strangers, meeting new people, and just learning about their stories and who they are as a person. It's so interesting to me when I think about how two people from completely different parts of the world, can somehow end up meeting in the same space and becoming friends.
I imagine waking up for sunrise (or sunset if I really can't wake up ), soaking in the view quietly, and appreciating the simple beauty of life.
The feeling of being alone can be scary, but it's also where you find solitude, serenity, perspective, and inner peace (lol kung fu panda). LOL honestly I'm a really shy person, but when it comes to traveling, I suddenly feel empowered, brave, open-minded, and fearless. Not sure what it is, but it happens.
Traveling changes you.
How about you? What does traveling mean to you? And how has travel impacted your life?